Notes on Finding Oneself

The dream of finding oneself outside of upbringing, environment, or outside influences is impossible.  God is the only non-contingent being.  He is the only person who can know himself in this way.  Everyone and everything else must exist in a context, a context that will shape it.  As human beings, we must be born into a time and place.  On top of this, at least through some amount of childhood, we absolutely need other people for survival.  Science may one day design robots that can raise babies in some fashion, but we are not there yet.  Our parents influence us even if they are the loose type of parent that wants a child to choose everything for themselves.  Even this type of parent won't let their child jump off a cliff.  If born in nature, we still have a context.  In the story The Jungle Book, Mowgli, raised by wolves, is still in a cultural context that exercises influence on him.

We should generally be grateful to be in an evolved society that gives us so many aids to finding the truth.  We are standing on the shoulders of giants.  To give an obvious example, we better understand our bodies on account of modern science.  If you are severely ill, you go to a qualified doctor.  You don't presume to figure out the problem on your own.  It is up to us to discern the validity of ideas in front of us, not fear all ideas.

Why do I believe that "be yourself" alone is dumb advice?  What does it mean?  If I tell someone I have a job interview coming up and I want some advice, I want real, practical, actionable advice such as show up on time, dress nice, or read up on the job.  Be yourself borders on useless.

Another way that people can use the mantra "be yourself" is define define their true selves as the path of least resistance.  Every vice is now a virtue as it is supposedly a matter of personal integrity.  "That's who I am!"  I see this especially with anti-social people who claim that friendly people are all phony, but they are morally superior for being rude because at least they are honest.

One has to find oneself within the bounds of a proper moral framework or everything from overeating to being a serial killer can be justified under self-discovery.  This is a path of selfishness disguised as integrity.

I can become a better person without losing my integrity.   Am I my potential better-self right now?  Not exactly, but my desire for change is genuine.  Human beings are more than just our emotions.  We have wills and it is sometimes right that will trumps emotion.

I really like the idea of best-version-of-yourself.  This idea balances the need for personal integrity with the possibility for self-improvement.  It also places identity in more than one's exact state in a given moment.